Apparently Par Core isn't just a word he got mixed up...

Dream World from Frank Sauer on Vimeo.

shout!

alex | shout from timb on Vimeo.

"So my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you may belong to one another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order than we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the lay were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code...

...Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law may be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature, but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the sinful nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of the sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

You, however, are controlled not by sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. but if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your Spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship. And by him, we cry Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, we are also heirs-- heirs with God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

... what shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns?"

-- Romans 7

"No good tree can bear bad fruit"

I've been thinking about rules. Lists. Laws. Guidelines. Right and wrong.

I've been thinking about guilt. About the thought of needing to try harder, do strain against my desires, to muster up the self-control to do what I ought to do when it feels like swimming against a current.

I've been thinking about the process of becoming a person who simply does the things that are good and right and pure so that when the challenges and the hardships come, choosing life will be as simple as breathing.

I've been thinking about choosing to believe what is true about me, regardless of the people around me who are telling me that I am wrong, that I've done something wrong, that I ought to be ashamed.

I am thinking about the process of waiting and resting, even when the wisdom of the world tells me to stop being lazy and get on with pulling up my bootstraps.

I've been thinking about the necessity of play and rest and enjoyment and the absurdity of what some people call "proper time management" that is actually a way of justifying an addiction to work and accomplishment.

I am thinking about receiving the gift of joy and freedom and how unnaturally good it feels to stop condemning myself for things that the Father actually delights in.

I am thinking about the value and goodness in taking life one day at a time and the freedom from worry that comes from trusting that the Lord is good and that he will provide.

I am thinking about how letting go of control takes practice, but yields unbelievably lavish results. I'm thinking about getting out of the way more often and just opening my hands to receive.

I'm learning about being less hard on myself and trusting that I have a Spirit in me that is directly wired to the source of life. I am thinking about living more in a rhythm that trusts that I have a good Father who is wise and loving enough to let me know if I get off track.

I am thinking about getting to know a Father who is full of goodness and mercy.

kindred

my favorite part is that this is the best word I can find.

Double Happy Honesty Cup

Watch the full episode. See more Austin City Limits.

listen to me, you Islands;
hear this, you distant nations:
Before I was born, the Lord called me;
From birth he has made mention of my name
He made my mouth like a polished arrow
and concealed me in his quiver
He said to me, "You are my servant,
Israel, in whom I will display my splendor."
But I said, "I have labored to no purpose;
I have spent my strength in vain for nothin
Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand,
and my reward is with God

And now the Lord says--
He who formed me in the woed to be his servant
to bring Jacob back to him
and gather Israel back to himself
For I am honored in the eyes of the Lord
and God has been my strength
He says:
"It is too small a thing for you to be my servant
To restore the tribes of Jacob
and bring back those of Israel I have kept
I will also make yo a light for the gentiels
that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth
this is what the Lord says--
the redeemer and Holy One of Israel--
to him who was despised and abhored by the nation
to be the servant of rulers:
"Kings will see you and rise up
princes will see and bow down
because of the Lord, who is faithful
The Holy One of Isreal, who has chosen you

This is what the Lord says:
"in the time of my favor I will answer you
And in the day of salvation I will help you
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
to restore the Land
and to reassign its desolate inheritances

To say to the captives: "Come out"
and to those in darkness, "Be Free!"

Isaiah 61

A few things:

I don't think I need this space very much anymore. Did I write this before? I can't remember. It is still true though. I don't. I started it because I wanted someone to see me. To hear me. To know me. I don't really know how much it met that need over the last six and a half years, but what I do know now is that there are other ways. And they are better.

I was driving the curve this morning and reached something of an epiphany:: There are just a lot of other things I want to do more. And that doesn't make me a failure and it doesn't make me a bad person. It just means... well, I haven't gotten that far.

I came here to do the thing that I always find ways to put off. And now I am putting it off. Because I have other things on my mind and I am too tired to care that much. I suppose it becomes a problem when the things I want to do more include the simple act of thinking about something else.

I was practicing a Quaker prayer of receiving and releasing several weeks ago and I felt the weight of a teaching job placed in my had-- easy as that. But it seems too good to be true and so I don't really want to believe it. That attachment and disappointment thing again. But I suppose He loves us enough and it is possible. And he doesn't seem to be browbeating me nearly as much as... well... me.

There are certain coping mechanisms that I used to find quite comforting that I now find repulsive to consider. I sit and there is the red hot burn of vulnerability and ache and I try to cover it all up again, but it doesn't seem to cover anymore. My new heart doesn't seem to fit the pieces of the old one. He promised that he would replace the thornbush with the pine. And apparently He wasn't lying about that either.

But that also means that I am carrying around all of this gentle, new skin. You know the kind, like when you totally burn all the layers off and then it begins to grow back softer in that little spot. And there are a thousand things, sensitive to the touch-- feeling with nerves I never knew I had. Like sunlight to the dilated eye of the yesterday blind. It feels like hurt and fear, but maybe its just poignant, real. The walls are down and the callouses have taken flight.