I'm broken
Incapable and small
I'm hoping for your hand to catch
My spirit when I fall

Abba, I am so glad that you have a promise and a path set out for my life. That my decisions do not determine how spiritual I am, that you know my heart, no matter how clouded with dust I sometimes feel. Sometimes it is just so hard for me to see and you know it and you love it becuase it is an opportunity to show off your glory and your might. I feel so often that decision-making is my thron in the flesh, that it is the massive failing that i struggle so much to climb over. I feel stupid and clumsy and akward. I feel like there will never come a day when I see over this hill of whatever I am having to choose. But you can always see the horizon. And you are faithful. And I thank you that you do not stand above me, berating me like I do. but that you quietly and lovingly stroke my hair, camling the breathless tears, saying, I know. We'll get through this. And I think oftentimes you are putting things before me to choose between not becuase you are interested in what I choose, but you long to go through the experience of making the choice with me. You want to sit on the futon beside me and wrestle through it. Those are the growing stages. Those are the experiences. Those are peices of the process that you have so lovingly laid out for me, the part of the journey that you wanted to see in my life-- these are the days that you wired me this way for. So Abba, I thank you that I am wonderfully and beautifully made. I thank you for the reminder this morning that you never set anything before me that I cannot bear, that I cannot handle. This is one of those things. And so Abba, I am taking this step of faith. I am stepping and trusting that you will make something beautiful out of it. That you would take these unknowns and these discomforts and make them places of immense growth-- that these would be areas of hard soil that you would break up, hard places in my heart that you would work until supple. Make yourself the only peice of driftwood I can find so that I can delve deeper into love with you.