First day of finals week. Up early. body tells me its time to be awake. The day is beginning, so much to do, so much to see, so much to enjoy. Four days. Then its time for a new start. Freedom from this guilt. Its bittersweet.

I've been thinking a lot about what the end of this year means. What it will be like on thursday when all the finals are done and suddenly I find my things and my bed in another place, away from these people, away from this place. This chapter over and something new beginning. Some new things continuing and others fading into memories, sweet memories. At first I wondered how I would be okay with just moving out and all of these relationship opportunities changing. But I sort of came to the realization that it is time for me to let go of this part of my life. To say good-bye and look back and know that it was good, even despite my awful mistakes. Mistakes. I wanted to do everything perfect and right this year and I think I got a little closer to discovering how impossible such an endeavor is. Nevertheless, God proved himself to be good. I learned a little more about that is good. And maybe learned a bit about my own frailties as well. Got a little closer to the discovery of my own powerlessness....