My eyes are tired again today and I so badly want to stop pretending to read this obscure article for my Concepts in Art Ed class. I'm sure it is interesting and I am sure this class is full of great, deep, and heady ideas about what art is, but I feel a bit too distracted these days to stop and engage. Breathe and engage. My head is lost in the clouds somewhere-- I find myself at home again in amidst the haze of an ever-shifting life and an ever-shifting identity. I feel as though I have been swept into this lifestyle of what it means to become a teacher and little else matters these days. No longer am I just some young hooligan trying to make it through classes, I am trying to keep up with an observed shift into being a professional, and adult. I'm not sure if I like it. I find myself wishing for one day a week that I don't have to worry about looking nice and upstanding and yet feeling strange in jeans and a fleece.

I feel as though I'm getting confused about my lifestyle, my job options-- what stage am I in again? I feel as though I am straddling these two lives, these two persons and all I can see it gray haze down below.

So here I am, standing in a fog where I feel as though there is much to be navigated and little that I cam able to discern. What would be the most appropriate place for me to stand right now? I attempt to strip away all the distractions, weed out all the stuff that isn't actually relevant. But it is still that state of being bombarded...

I need a break.