Falling

This was this week's devo from the YLI Website that really spoke to where I am at. I am learning that living the newlife, learning to freefall, isn't at all predictable nor is it bound to my expectations. Encountering the dramatic changes in my life right now are hard, but they are getting easier as I trust God's grace for the bumps along the way. There really is grace for bumps, the places where I just don't know how to deal and I am scared about the strangeness of freedom. So, here is the devo, hope you enjoy it:

A New Life Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more kindness and forgiveness? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with him? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. [romans 6.1-4] When I was a little girl, my parents gave me a new bike for my seventh birthday. I went into the garage and found this shiny pink bike with a bow around it. It was new because I had never experienced it before. There were many other bikes like it and the bike itself was probably in the store for quite awhile, but to me…the newness came in the experience of the bike. When the Israelites were delivered from slavery in Egypt, they too experienced a sense of newness. Out in the wilderness, they were no longer bound to the daily work they experienced in Egypt. Out in the wilderness, they were given freedom. Yet, this freedom was difficult for them to handle. They complained to Moses (Exodus 14.11) and longed to be back in Egypt. The first time I rode my new bike, I rode down the street, but the seat was higher up, which made the bike difficult to maneuver. When I tried to stop, my foot slipped and I fell over onto the street. I walked the bike back home and decided to leave it in the garage for a while. Even though I was excited about my new bike, I would choose to ride my old bike. My old bike was rusty and a little too small for me, but with it, I knew what to expect. I knew to push extra hard on the brakes to slow down; I knew how to put the chain back on when it would slip off; and I knew to put a towel on the seat because the cover was wearing away. My old bike was familiar and predictable. For the Israelites, in the wilderness, they longed for something familiar and predictable. By their complaining, they rejected the new life God was giving them in order to go back to a place where they were bound. My mom came outside one day and watched me ride around in my old little bike. When I rode up the driveway to greet her, she had brought out my new bike and asked me why I was riding my old one. I told her that I wasn’t used to the new one and I was afraid of falling. Isn’t it interesting, just like the Israelites, how fear sometimes takes us away from new experiences? If you think about it, here is a group of people who spent their lives working day and night for very little, yet, when they were taken out…when they were freed…all they wanted was to be back. The story of the Israelites and the exodus hits deeply in my life, because it’s a story I live out on a regular basis. It’s a story that resonates with me when I find myself longing to be bound. Sometimes…it feels easier to turn from God and sit in the guilt of my wrongs. It feels easier because when I’m there, I know what to expect…I know that I will do wrong, feel bad, and then at some point, feel okay again. The thing is, I’m beginning to realize that that isn’t what God intended for any of us. I’m beginning to realize that a new life is one that takes us out of those chains and releases us into something that is greater than any familiar and predictable life. My mom put the kickstand down on my new bike and walked over to my old bike. She gently pulled it away from me and walked it into the garage. Then, she took my hand and walked me over to my new bike. She set my hand on one of the handle bars and said, “Falling is just part of getting something new, you just have to trust that this bike will be better for you.” Often times we have a hard time trusting that the new life God has freed us to live is the life we want to live. It is uncertain and there is a chance that we may fall. Then, when we do, there is an uncertainty as to what will happen next. Eventually, through Joshua, the Israelites entered into the promise land, where they multiplied and God’s covenant with Israel was maintained (Deuteronomy 31). Eventually, I learned to ride my new bike. I rode further than I had ridden before and as I trusted more and more, I fell less and less. What if we decided to trust God? What if we decided that, even though there is familiarity and predictability in our old life, we actually choose to be free a live a life that may be uncertain and scary at first? What if we did that and trusted that this new life is something worth living? What would it all look like?