this is not my fault. I have been listening to a lie all year that the pain that I feel is something that I have earned, something i deserve and something that i ought to be able to fix. I feel like a lot of the pain i have experienced this year has been a result of someone else putting their pain on me, taking their pain out on me, pain that has nothing to do with me, pain from a past, pain from long before me, pain that i am free from. I have freedom to say that i do not have to feel guilty or responsible for the abuse being heaped upon me. I feel a bit like a victim. I do not deserve the blame on top of the hurt. Its not fair and its not right and I'm tired of people telling me this. I can't change things that have nothing to do with me. There can be no resolution if the problem isn't really between me and the other person at all. I am not the one to bring about the change in myself, let alone others...