You know you miss home when you get excited to see a car with your school's rival on the bumper sticker. haha. Today I actually smiled when I saw a CU Buff stuck to the back of a Subaru. What is this world coming to? Seriously though, today I have been thinking fondly of home and just feeling really at peace, full of joy for the day I'll be back. If there has been anything I have learned being away, it has been simply to learn what the word home means. I am enjoying being here, staying busy and I think I can say I am finishing very well, but I am very much looking forward to being back in Colorado. The distance makes it hard to be away, as much as I am surprised to hear myself say.

I was just thinking today how I remember when I was preparing to come out here, I wanted to prove that I was grownup enough to come out here, how I wanted to make the point that I didn't really need my mommy (sorry mom), that I wanted to be independent and now I am happy to have people around me-- it isn't about not needing anyone now, it is about letting myself enjoy having people a part of my life. It feels more like celebration now than escape. I feel less like I have to earn or prove something now and more like I can just be something now. I am more at peace with being what I am-- young, immature at times, just a student. I am less bitter about people who can't seem to do it on their own and feel less pressure to maintain a resume. I am more interested in living today, enjoying this moment. And, as some people have observed, I seem to worry a lot less. It's funny how that little heart change seemed to sneak up on me. Right under my nose. like a gift slipped under the door.

So tonight I am missing Fort Collins like an old friend, but it isn't motivated by discontent in where I am. It is motivated by pure love, true anticipation and that is quite beautiful indeed.