So I have been here at school for about 6 days and my life feels so chaotic, but so fun. like there just aren't enough hours in the day to take it in. I am finding that I don't have the time (or maybe even the desire) to do the reflecting that I used to. It is difficult to find real times of quiet. Solitude is hard to find. And this also a major time of transition and just getting used to life.

The thing I love about all of this is just how many people that I find myself surrounded with. I am finding such a family and such a freedom in all these people living here. For one thing, I can't send email from my regular adress and its a little difficult to call anyone i know because i don't have a cell and everything is long distance-- but there are so many people around me, that I just hardly have time to sit and email or blog or journal or read. Hopefully I will be able to find some kind of balance to all of this in the next few weeks.

I think life is a great deal about balance. finding just how much is "good." Maybe this is my goal for the year-- finding the balance. Finding balance between work and play, spending my time doing what I love and spending time with those i love. Finding the balance between what I need to do and what I want to do. Finding the balance between what I need and what I want. Finding balance not in my own ability but in my trust that things will even up someday.

I haven't had a lot of time to spend with God in the traditional form lately. I need to find the balance between just enjoying him in his creation and his people and really focusing on him. I don't know. I feel a little disconnected, maybe just from the way things used to be when i had a lot more time and a lot less distraction. Time when I used to sit huddled in the "me and Jesus" tent. I need to find the balance between my personal time with him and my time taking in all that he is in the biggness of this world and his life.

Abba, I feel like its been a while. Its been a while since things were the way things were supposed to be. And i'm just not sure what is right, what is balance, how to juggle it all, how to trust you even with the things that i think may be irresponsible or silly. You know all that you have prepared for me here and all that you want to teach me in this place. I don't want to miss you in my searching for the way I expect to see you. Open my eyes to see how things really are, to see clearly who you are making me to be. Keep me from false guilt and keep me from ignoring your voice. teach me to hear you still small voice even when I cannot quiet all that is around me. I need you. And sometimes I just don't take the time to really seek you or believe the lie that there is something I need to bring to the table in order to simply find you as all that I need. It seems in the past I had so much more time, less distraction, all I had to do was think about me and you-- now there are so many other things. Guide me, Abba. You maintain our relationship, teach me what this really means becuase I think I may be getting lost. Thank you that you never leave me nor forsake me, even though its seems that you are lost in the massive crowds that overtake me at times. Thank you for all that you have done, all the people you have brought into my life.