God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in times of trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea
Though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging

There is a rivier whose streams make glad the city of God
the holy place where the Most High dwells
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at the break of day.
Nations are in an uproar, kingdoms fall
he lifts his voice, the earth melts

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress

Come and see the works of the Lord,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends fo the earth;
he breakes the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the sheilds with fire.
"Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted amoung the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.*

The Lord Almight is with us. The God of Jacob our fortress. Today is my last final of the semester. Tomorrow is my last day at work. Today I got an email telling me that my financial aid here at CSU has officially been declined. I guess there is no turning back now.

Sometimes i am tempted to fear. I wonder what will change. I wonder how hard this will be-- both leaving and also being there. its like a tall shaky bridge. As much as I am looking forward to all of this, looking forward to all that God is going to do in and through me in the next eight months, I also fear what God is going to do in and through in me in the next eight months.

Change. That is what i wrote in red capitol letters next to this psalm in my bible. I don't even know when I wrote it, but there it is. And I love that this psalm is so reassuring that even when everything falls apart, when we are beaten by the storm and fear that one more step might be our last, Abba is our "safe place to hide" and standing ready to give us a fresh wind. our bretah of strength. The fact that he is as close to us as the day he wrestled Jacob.

It means that he is close enough to touch me and he knows it all. Once I heard someone pray, "if you are in me, you are in this." and I thought that was extremely beautiful. I can't keep God from the deepest parts of me becuase that is exactly what I have asked him to do-- be in me. Its not that God deals with the really big, external stuff and leaves the piddly things to us to figure out alone. No, he wants to be intimately involved with the things that ping-ping-ping against my heart. I think maybe he would like any excuse just to be able to hold us close to himself. He wants to be there to wrestle through the hard times with us.

So, despite my fear, my questions, my anticipation, I know that he is near and that he is capable and he is loving. I can know that "God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his Holy throne."*

So change. It is hard, but I will brave it. God says he will not give us anything that we cannot handle. And so I will trust that, breath by breath. I will say goodbye for today and I will go where I am sent because I know the citry where God calls is only good.